Gail Antosh - Serving The Kingdom

Back To My Tent

Sun, 17 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here I am back under my mom's roof in Canada. It has only been two days and I already feel as if Africa was decades ago. This doesn't mean I've forgotten about the FYM program or abandoned all that was taught to me during it. These feelings, rather, stem from severe heartache over missing my team, my ministry and a location that held relationships of far more value than schedules or material items. This heartache, however, is being cared for by my gracious Father, who is unchanging. He's spoken to me exactly what I need in continuing out this journey. Already God has lifted a lot of judgment, fear, and anxiety from my shoulders. He does this by reminding me of the truth I've come to accept over the past nine months: that I am lowly, despised, and weak. I am overjoyed that our most Holy Savior has changed me through His Spirit. But the greater joy behind that comes with Grace and Salvation. In the process of making disciples in Africa, I myself was changed from a mere believer to a disciple. All of this was only done through the grace of God. He met me in my inadequacies and made me complete through a pure union with Christ. I am privileged to me abiding in Him and bearing witness to all of the fruit that has been harvested in doing so. I saw the Lord open the door of faith to so many individuals and in inviting me to also come through that door He accomplished immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine. God poured His confidence, knowledge, power, speech, and love into me and I am continually going to be open to receiving an abundance of that and more. I pray that this wealth I've gained will be used in the building up of the kingdom.

Joshua 22:8 ... Go back to your tents with much wealth and with very much livestock, with silver, gold, bronze, and iron, and with much clothing. Divide the spoil of your enemies with your brothers.

The Joy Of Suffering

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"My family, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you are walking in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:1-4

I was sincerely overjoyed to hear through my sister, Laura, of the great fruit that has been taking form on your end of things. It is so encouraging to be reminded that God's Spirit transcends all borders, allowing wondrous work to be accomplished among the nations. I am much more eager for my return, now in less than a month, knowing that I will be stepping into a place of spiritual cultivation as well as amazing opportunity. Throughout my time here, the Lord has ignited in me a passion for Calgary and the people already in my life as well as the people I have yet to meet. This fire is continually being fueled as the time fast approaches for me to come home.

The excitement for ministry in Calgary has in no way dampened my heart for Swaziland. Just this morning I was reading on Christ's power as the "Alpha and Omega; the Beginning and the End." He most certainly has time in His hands and I am aware that my dedication to Africa is not limited to just a few weeks. This last stretch has given me the chance to see how I will continue my labour here in Swaziland from Canada through prayer of course as well as other creative means. I've also been blessed to see God orchestrate His people perfectly so that the physical ministry here will not cease with the team's departure.

This past week the Lord validated this at our Youth Center ministry. As mentioned in previous e-mails, two other girls and I have been meeting with women from the Life Skills or "Youth" Center every Tuesday since January. The center works to train Swazis in basic business so that they will be equipped enough to open independent companies. The eight ladies we visit with are part of a textile business, so much of our Tuesdays are spent attempting to lend a hand in preparing the orders. All three of us took a crack at the sewing machines on one of our first days of ministry and to no surprise the women have not asked us to assist in that way since. However, we've become pros at removing poor stitching and ironing uniforms. The remainder of our days are spent diving into the Word. As a large group, we teach and discuss on God's purpose for our lives. This topic has touched on things such as conformity to Christ, heaven, and unity. The studies have reached beyond the sewing ladies. Some of the women mentioned that their husbands are going through the handouts at home and we often have visitors from other departments dropping in on our meetings. SiSwati bibles were also passed out to all of the women which soon caught the ears of all the workers on site. Luckily our team has a stash of bibles in our home, so we've been blessed to give away over ten and counting. The growth we as a ministry team have seen at the Youth Center is very encouraging and as I mentioned before, the Lord has already begun planting people who will continue the ministry when we leave. Nonhlanhla, one of the quieter ladies, volunteered to lead next week's lesson, so we are eager to see how God uses her. With only two Tuesday's left at the Center, this could not be better timing for the teaching swap. The reality of two Tuesdays is saddening for our hearts, but it also forces us to be intentional.

This reality is true for all of my ministries: the market, gas station, and Hope House. To your benefit, I will not go into detail with all of them, but I will give praises to the Spirit and the incredible love He has given me for each and every one, especially in these last moments. I am looking forward to sharing testimonies of this work face to face with anyone who is willing to listen upon my return.

There is a lot more that has gone down over the past month and I am sure that many of you have heard things through the grapevine. Just to bring anyone who may be missing out up to speed before I conclude I'll point out a few highlights, or, lowlights that were quick to turn around for the good of God's people. Since spring break and the unexpected events which I wrote about in my latest e-mail, there has been a mass amount of suffering experienced not only by the Swaziland team, but the entire AIM group in Africa. We've had two of our teammates, Matt and Tyler, have to leave for home early for physical emergencies. Both boys were troubled with going so unexpectedly, however, the Lord has already proved to be the Father of redemption and we have seen His glory immensely in their departures. Another, very unexpected tragedy was that of a car accident in Port Elizabeth. The accident left two injured and to everyone's shock, took the life of Sarah Buller. Many of you know that Sarah was my ministry partner at Love A Child last semester. The state of brokenness this situation brought not only myself, but everyone involved with the Africa Awakening 08' and of course Sarah's family allowed for such comfort and restoration from God. It's been nearly two weeks since the incident and our Swazi team in particular has experienced the joy of suffering in such an intense way. Needless to say, we still need the body's continued praise and prayers concerning the matter. Please keep the PE team especially on your heart as they are struggling with the means to press on and where exactly they will be pressing onwards to.

As I keep relaying, our God is the perfect orchestrator, and all of the latest events, those of tragedy and triumph, most certainly proclaim glory to His name. Personally, I am overwhelmed by His goodness and have been contrasting that with my sinful nature more than ever over the past few weeks. What a blessing it is to receive such love and grace from the King of Kings. With that said I wish all of you a most Happy Easter, better late than never for He is risen every day in our lives and send the Lord's love and my prayers.

"I have much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends, every one of them." 3 John 1:13-15

- Gail

Tis The Season

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Psalm 51:12

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."

For the past few weeks I've been struggling with what to write for my next blog. I considered the usual: ministry updates, new spiritual insights, etc. Well here I am on the sixth day of my spring break and I realize that there is only one thing that's been consistently on my mind for all of these six days - Christmas. Random, I am well aware of that, but completely relevant at the same time. So, here as I listen to my "Christmas Mix" I'll shed a little light on my current state of mind.

After remaining in South Africa this Christmas season, I've developed a new found appreciation for the holiday and all of the things that come with it. With the absence of a winter wonder land, the need for excessive layers, and my amazing family this Christmas was also lacking in a spirit of true celebration. I dragged myself through winter break thinking of everything good that I was missing out on.

Break came and went and the thoughts of Christmas still occupied my mind in the months following. As me and my teammates frequently talked about all of the splendour that was awaiting us next winter, I was pleased with my latest love for the season. Next Christmas will be unlike any other. I made plans to be truly "merry", seizing every opportunity to go ice skating, bake cookies, play Bing Crosby, and read by the fireplace. Sounds magical, right? The plan to do these things still stands, but should that really be the source of my pleasure, and what would I do during the summer months that await me?

I find myself wrapped up in the joy that these novelties bring, rather than finding the joy that comes with the birth of Christ. And not just His birth, but also his death and the fact that that means I get to spend each day in communion with Him. Should not every day be as warm and treasured as the ones from December? As I write this I'm reminded of familiar lyrics, "You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing let's be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holly." Let's try something with different words, ones that will play joy into your life every day of the year, "You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing "For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Saviour, Who is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:11)

Spring Break

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hebrews 10:24-25

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

My partners in Christ,

I write to you with exceeding joy, knowing that the Day of our Lord is fast approaching. The hour of His return has been my focus over the months and I pray that it remains that way. I also pray that through hearing of His amazing works in Swaziland, you will be encouraged to stand strong in the battle that's already been won.

My heart is most thrilled with the events of this past week. Today marks the last of our nine day long spring break. Many of my teammates traveled back to South Africa to visit old friends and ministries which left the house to just seven of us. I am so grateful for the hungry atmosphere that came with the much needed space. The group frequently met with God individually and together, resulting in extensive growth. Every night was spent reading from the book of Hebrews along with a sometimes lengthy discussion and meditation period. Last night the study was concluded, but I trust that the changes in my heart throughout it will be lasting.

Aside from the Hebrews study, our "mini family" did many other things together. Just yesterday five of us girls went back to one of our family ministry sites in the nearby township to paint a school. The school is run by Gugu, a vibrant woman who has volunteered the past 10 years to giving free education to children. Gugu's desire for the school is to have it as something the kids don't have to be ashamed of. When compared to the city schools, theirs is often referred to as a shack. A few weeks back, the entire team went to the property for some hard labour. After the team day there and our completed painting, I'm certain the children and Gugu will have better eyes for the area. We still have a few more coats with some decorating to follow and one of our team teaches at the school twice a week so the project is ongoing.

The spiritual growth the seven of us have gone through entails much more than what was mentioned. Because of such a pressing into the Spirit, the devil was at work. We've dealt with a lot of spiritual warfare concerning safety. A strange young man, now thought to be under some sort of witchcraft, came to our house on more than one occasion even after being confronted by the guy staying with us. After a restless night for all of us he hasn't been back. Another incident occurred just following the painting party at the school. We girls had decided to walk back instead of calling for a ride because our leader had been up the previous night dealing with the stranger at our home. After being followed by a man for quite a ways, we were suddenly attacked. He was quite forceful and defended himself by thrashing a screw driver until he was able to run away with my bag. Praise God all of us are okay! My bag had virtually all of my values (i.e. Camera, iPod, phone, and wallet) which was very disconcerting at first, but the Lord was quick to reveal my heart's treasures to me and I am completely at peace about it now (note Hebrews 11:25-26). All of us do request, however, that you cover our team in extensive prayer. We've been very in tune with God throughout this, recognizing his source of ultimate safety and power and we would be so thankful if you continued to pray this realization over us.

So, those events marked the last days of our spring break, which means this week will involve getting back into the swing of our usual ministries and discipleship times. I am looking forward to meeting with my friends from the market, Hope House, the Youth Center, and the gas station. You'll be pleased to know that those relationships are ever flourishing. Every Tuesday at the Youth Center, myself and two of my teammates are doing a bible study for the sewing ladies. They always take an hour or so for lunch where we discuss topics centered on "God's purpose". I am thrilled at the response we've been receiving from a few of the women. The study is tying into their families, marriage, and especially into their work. With only six Tuesdays left with them, please pray that there would be a great spirit of healing and revival with the group. The Lord has also been moving just as much with Sizwe from the gas station. Our first meetings with him were more "question and answer" periods, but now he is sharing alongside us by being a translator for our interactions with locals who come into the station. He is also focusing on pouring his new found insights into some of his closest friends. Please keep Sizwe's spiritual and mental strength in your prayers, as he is facing tempting job offers that he agreed would only "cater to his old lifestyle." Glory to God, though, for the immense progress we've seen in Sizwe, the Youth Center women, and others not mentioned in detail.

I don't want to overwhelm you with lengthy descriptions of my life in Swaziland, so if you are eager to hear more I encourage you to read the blogs of my teammates and I. The links that are in bold are the people who I am in ministry with. I also urge you to take a look at the guy's blogs as they have been doing intense leadership classes at one of the local high schools on a day to day basis.

The URLS are as follows:

Alenebrunkhurts.myadventures.org

Lorettawang.myadventures.org

Jilliangray.myadventures.org

Laynecarson.myadventures.org

Jessicagourley.myadventures.org

Sarahtaylor.myadventures.org

Maryhollis.myadventures.org

Sarahkeppinger.myadventures.org

Allysabolles.myadventures.org

Davieingram.myadventures.org

Ryancharmichael.myadventures.org

Blairnightingale.myadventures.org

Tylerbussanich.myadventures.org

As always, I appreciate your special interest in God's work through me and around me here in Africa. I am constantly encouraged by thoughts of home and the love and opportunities that await me there. I leave you with selected pictures from ministry and our spring break hike. As you get a peek into my world here keep in mind that these are only glimpses of our eternity.

My prayers and blessings,

Gail

Needing My Family In Christ

Wed, 4 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Isaiah 55 - The Compassion of the Lord

Come everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear that your soul may live; and I will make an everlasting convenant, my steadfast sure love for David. Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples, a leader and commander for the peoples. Behold you shall call a nation that you do not know, and a nation that did not know you shall run to you, because of the Lord your God, and of the Holy One of Israel, for he has glorified you.

This letter is from Gail, Jesus Christ's daughter, chosen by God to be a messenger to the kingdom of Swaziland. This message has been promised by the Lord through his word; the word that tells of his Son, Jesus, who took on the burden of many through his death and resurrection. His resurrection is the very reason we have the privilege of spreading God's hope everywhere.

As my brothers and sisters in Christ, I know you are equally as passionate about sharing this message; one that has proven so much victory in your own lives. I am familiar, however, with the distractions of this world that so fervently steal this passion. With the sudden crashing of the economy, all eyes are on our comforts. Cars, homes, jobs, and food are just a few of the things that occupy our daily thoughts. Yes, you claim to trust the Lord, but why not put a little money here and there, just in case he doesn't follow through? And you are aware that your life should be dedicated to building up his kingdom, but how can you meet the needs of others if your own needs are not met?

These examples are harsh truths, ones that I fully own up to also. Only until I began to live among the people here were my eyes opened to the hardness of my heart. I fought long and hard with God throwing nonsense at him like, "Lord, I've already tithed a huge chunk of my income to come on this trip" or "If I give this last dollar I won't have money to call my family." Of course anyone who knows God, he was quick to put me in my place. Most of the Swazi people live off of less than $30.00 a month. They are depending on the Lord to provide their one meal a day. I have no room to complain. Everything we see belongs to the Lord, our bank accounts included. If he asks us to give, we must do it cheerfully and without hesitation.

So here I am with a wide open opportunity to give to the building of His kingdom. God has Swaziland in His hands - this means it is also resting in our hands. During the past two months I have been a witness to the Father's incredible power. Through willing hearts, a nation has begun running to Christ and his calling. I have a remainder of 75 days here and the labor is nowhere near being done. My heart is so excited to see what the Lord accomplishes during my last two months here.

As the body of Christ, you have a huge part to play in this! My support account is short just over $2000.00 U.S. and that debt has to be paid by mid April. I pray that you would soften your heart to giving. It is my hope that the amount raised would go beyond the requirements. Delight yourselves in rich food, a supply that will last for eternity.

I appreciate any form of giving, be in through prayer, finances or both. My never-ending thanks go to all who read and consider this.

In Him,

Gail

If you're on board with supporting go to http://gailantosh,myadventures.org and look in the left hand column for the link that says "Support Me" OR make cheques or money orders out to "Adventures in Missions" Memo "Gail Antosh - FYM" and send them to:

Adventures In Missions

P.O. Box 534470

Atlanta, Georgia

30353 - 4470

Fruit Salad

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Jeremiah 17:7-8

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they go right on producing delicious fruit.

Since the moment I crossed the border into Swaziland, my eyes were captivated by the display of creation. The streets are bordered with collection of colorful flowers, only appearing as frosting to the olive mountains that stand tall in the background. That's what the body of Christ should resemble. The Swazi heat is unbearable to most of us, but the trees here aren't bothered by it, for they know the rain will soon refresh their roots, allowing them to continually flourish, that they may bear many flora and fruits. I very much desire to trust the Lord in this way, taking heart at the most difficult moments. It is so easy to proclaim your hope in God, but to live each day as if it is true is another story. The battle stretches and challenges me to the core. It is a race very much worth the fruit that proceeds. As I run towards the finish line I'm faced with the devil's hurdles, persuading me to turn back. Rather than turning around with the plan of quitting, I look back to see the amount of succulent fruit that has already been harvested. Christ has proven His victory, and I am endlessly reminded of that as I run the reel of my life. So here'some fruit to taste.

I'll begin with my most favorite ministry site, the Manzini Market. This place has my favor for many reasons, the main being it's eclectic array of opportunity. If one were to walk into the market they'd be overwhelmed with the palette of products. Fruits, vegetables, jewelery, fabrics, and pillows are just a few of the goods available for purchase. More important than the products, however, are the faces behind them. My roommate, Alyssa, says that's cliche, and it is, but often we fail to recognize the importance of these formulas. Shopping was blown out of the water once I struck up meaningful conversation with the women. The relationships began more than a month ago and now every Monday has been dedicated to the discipleship of my new friends. To give you a glimpse into some of their stories I'll name some names and describe our weekly meetings. Mnomsa, a lady in her mid-twenties, was the first to hold a significant dialogue with me. She is very passionate about the Lord and connects to Him best through praise and worship. My team mate, Jillian, and I have showed her our favorite worship artists. Mnomsa is such a vibrant soul and is always willing to show us the tricks of Swazi culture. Her close neighbour, Siyabongile, is a 40some year old lady who has an education in business and marketing. Out meeting can go anywhere as she has extensive knowledge in English. The latest topic of conversation has been food and her love for cooking. Two girls and I had the pleasure (sort of) of trying a common Swazi dish thanks to Siyabongile. Lagusha, our lunch for that day, is a very viscous green liquid made of a common leaf. We were able to swallow it all smiles thanks to the accompanying Millie Pop, similar to cream of wheat. Siya has had her son on her heart lately as he searches for a job. Finding work is very difficult in Swaziland, so we are asking the Lord to open a position for him, one that will use his education in marketing management. Another one of my market friends who needs prayer is Nelsiwe. She is 26 years old and married with two children, a 3 year old girl and 9 month old son. Our conversations are very much centered on the church and what it means to be a member of Christ's body. The Spirit often points us toward scripture and meditation. Her heart is very eager to see her Catholic husband develop a deeper relationship with Jesus. She is hoping that both he and their children can come to the market one day so we can finally meet. I am so pleased with how this ministry has developed and look forward to deepening my relationships there.

Another ministry site that has taken a piece of my heart is the local gas station. This place seriously has been anointed by God. The team had discussed forming below the surface relations with the nearby stores before we arrived we came to Swaziland and it's been awesome to see that vision fulfilled. It began at my first visit to the station where I met Thandie. She is the sweetest woman and has such a pure heart. We quickly adopted her as our Swazi Gogo. Most of our time with her is hearing stories of her hardships and her relentless trust in the Lord through them. She is such a hard-working woman, desiring to support her family in any means possible. She works 6 days a week, the mornings at the nearby gas station and the afternoon at ours. In her spare time she also knits everything from slippers to sweater vests. This hobby is also another way of earning money. Wool is pretty expensive here so one of my teammates is having her grandmother's closet stash sent here for Thandie. This woman has touched my heart so much since being here. The Holy Spirit has also pulled us to several other employees at the gas station. One of them is a 24 year old man named Sizwe. His passion and hunger for God has been so evident since the first time we met him. Our conversations have centered on how to be a light in a country such as Swaziland, the exact thing these people need to be discipled for. So encouraging and being encouraged by him is so amazing. The boys on our team are hoping to meet him also so that a stronger connection with him can be made. Since the gas station is on the way to most of our ministry sites, I often visit and get caught in an hour of spirit-driven discussion.

I cannot begin to describe the fruit that is being seen there and the blessing it has been to me. These ministry highlights are merely at the surface level and are just a hint at the Lord's power. Give God praise though, for the fruit mentioned here and the countless other seeds that are being planted in my ministry and in my teammates. Lights are clearly being lit all over the city of Manzini and I wait for the day when it shines like the Son.

Spiritual Settlement

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I've come to the end of my first month in Swaziland. It's been an overwhelming time, one that seems entirely too short to have incorporated so much. After being pulled by the Spirit into many ministries, studies, and relationships I finally find myself settling in. To "settle" for me at this point means not to find a place of contentment, but rather a place of willingness. To put it simply, I've begun to abide and settle into the spirit. It is very evident to me the blessing that follows after pressing in to what the Holy Spirit desires. I have countless stories and accounts giving praise to the Spirit, ones that would not do Him justice with my short blurbs. Nonetheless (as Davie would say) I will describe several highlights so you can get a better image of what these blessings have been all about.

It would be most convenient for everyone if I just ran through a typical "Spirit driven" day, although typical isn't very appropriate seeing as the Spirit is full of surprises. That being said, I'll just dive right into it and try to organize the latest events. I'll begin with team discipleship. The eighteen of us come together on Tuesday and Thursday mornings to discuss the book of Romans. We've been reading one or two chapters individually throughout the week so that we can be prepared for the two hour long conversation we'll have as a team. The hours entail a rereading of the chapter along with the exchange of thoughts, insights, and questions; pretty standard stuff. To be perfectly honest, although we had good intentions, rarely was the spirit ever a part of our meetings. I don't doubt that He brought clarity to many of the things we read, but fear tended to run our discussions. It was only until the fourth meeting that the spirit was let run wild and our hearts along with Him. We didn't lose our intellectual stance on the scripture, but it was made into a product of truth rather than a product of fear. We even admitted as a team that a lot of us would only voice up when we were sure that our words would impress others. What good is it to say something profound and not have it change your life? This realization made room for honesty, tears, and more questions. I love questions. It means more seeking is required as the Lord is the only one who can give a clear answer. I ended up getting the most out of our time together that day, and I don't even think we finished reading the chapter. Since then, we've only had two other team discipleships, but they've been fruitful. I can see our tense hearts and minds being "unhinged" so that we may be moved to settle into the Spirit through our readings. There's part A of our days. Moving onto part B:

As I've mentioned before, my main ministry here in Swaziland is at the Hope House. I've been visiting with the patients and their families there on a pretty consistent basis. My two teammates, Layne and Sarah, and I have been amidst laughter, suffering, death, healing and of course awkwardness during our time at Hope. In fact, we had the privilege of experiencing all of the mentioned in one day alone. It was extremely overwhelming, but extremely Spirit-filled. We begun this visit embracing the awkward by heading towards the house of Jabulile, a primary school teacher her sacrificed many of her days caring for her sick father, who we've come to know as Makhulu, meaning "grandpa" in SiSwati. We arrived to find that Jabu was teaching for the day so that left her non-English speaking sister and mother taking care of Makhulu. We definitely contemplated leaving after 10 or so minutes of silence, but anyone who does house visits knows that silence is embraced. Allowing the Spirit to lead rather than following our human tendencies made for one sweet hour. It was filled with a lot of fanning, a tasty lunch, and many laughable moments. After having created some good memories the three of us went to see a couple and their three year old daughter whom we gave a puzzle to the previous day. We walked in to find that the 1000 piece puzzle might not have done the trick as it had been packed away. Choosing to take no offense to this, the three of us took our seats and observed the unbreakable bond between a mother and her daughter. We may not have been able to give anything outside of our presence, but we most certainly were blessed by them and the love that filled their relationship. The encouragement that came through this visit pushed me to suggest something that would be more difficult. We ventured towards a home that was burdened with intense suffering. A KhoKho (grandma) was dealing with the affliction of her HIV+ son. On my last visit I had learned that she already lost her firstborn of 9 children to AIDS. Praise God that she had the help and support of her third son, a high school teacher, during their time at Hope House. So knowing all this, we three girls were eager to lend our support through love and prayer as we made our way to this destination. We were taken aback to find the house being cleaned out by the nurses. Apparently he had passed away over the weekend. My heart was shattered. It's hard to describe what really went on during the next fifteen minutes. I certainly didn't expect to step out of the darkness so soon, but the Spirit proved it to be possible. Desiring some consistency, we girls went to visit with our friend Sihle, whom we see on a regular basis. She's been recovering nicely since the first time we met with her, so it wasn't a surprise to find that she'd been detached from Hope House and now living back in the swing of things. Praise God! She had really grown with the Lord during her time at Hope and we are so pleased to see the immense blessings He has showered on her. Her birthday is on the 22^nd of this month, so we plan on seeing her next week to celebrate with lunch at KFC, her favourite. The Holy Spirit allowed this discovery to lift our spirits once again, so we decided to take a risk and go to a home we had never been to. The patient, a young lady named Nomsa, was in a dreadful state. She was extremely weak and barely talked. The few words that were said were making reference to her death, and the contentment she felt. Her trust in God was inspiring, but all of us felt the Spirit pulling us toward a greater sense of hope. As we listened to her speak of her children the feeling was solidified. It took courage, a definite abiding in the Spirit, but we finally confirmed her belief that she could be healed and prayed for it. Once again, it's difficult to describe what really went on during those moments, but the movement of the Spirit was incredible. I'm so happy to say that she is getting stronger each day and has many visitors who fellowship in a joyful atmosphere. What a day! As Sarah stated to me afterwards, "We saw all sides to servant hood and the blessing that comes with it; from laughter, to fellowship, to death, to victory, and finally to life.

With all that said, I have to reiterate my previous statement and admit my inability to record all of the blessings the Lord has revealed since my "spiritual settlement". Even today, I must have encountered ten possible blog stories! I look forward to writing more as I'm led. In the mean time I leave you with some wise words from my most recent reading, "Rees Howells: Intercessor"

John 15:7 "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you shall ask what you will and it shall be done unto you." As this "abiding" was to take such a central place in his future life of intercession, it is important to see what the Holy Spirit taught Mr. Howells about it. This key text, John 15:7, makes it plain that the promise is unlimited, but its fulfillment depends on the abiding. That is why in all cases of intercession; Mr. Howells constantly spoke of guarding the "place of abiding."

The scriptural key to abiding is in 1 John 2:6, "He that says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk even as He walked." In other words, it meant being willing for the Holy Spirit to live through him the life the Saviour would have lived had He been in his place.

The way Mr. Howells maintained this abiding was by spending a set time of waiting upon God every day during the period in which the intercession lasted. The Holy Spirit would then speak to him through the Word, revealing any standard that he was to come up to, particularly in the "laws of the Kingdom" - the Sermon on the Mount. Any commandment the Spirit gave him, he must fulfill because the way of abiding is the keeping of His commandments (John 15:10). The Spirit would also search his heart and throw light on his daily life, revealing any motives or actions that needed confession and cleansing in the Blood.

... During the first week of abiding, the Lord spoke to him nightly on many things. "He began to deal with my nature," he said, "and show me things I never dreamed were there,getting deep down to my motives. It was a daily dying.

So the Spirit has been getting right down to it. I am amazed at how much dying had to be done and needs to be done. As Howell's said, "deep down to my motives" is where the change has to occur. I can only accredit being able to take part of these blessings because of the changes in my heart. This tied to God's grace makes for so much opportunity. All this so that we may settle in His Spirit.

On Swazi Soil

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am very appreciative of your grace with me as you awaited this update. It's been a long time coming and is only arriving now thanks to my dear teammate who allowed me to use her laptop. My current country of residence does not allow for easy internet access, thus contact with me and the other side of the world will be limited.

The past two weeks have been spent settling into my new home in the country of Swaziland. That's right; God has placed me in a new location, with a new team, and many new opportunities. I will get to that shortly, but before I dive into describing my new found joy here I will bring you some closure with last semester.

Jeffreys Bay, South Africa was the scene of my extensive training. For four months my entire root system was challenged. Through hard and necessary discipleship, both group and one on one, I was encouraged to get back to the basics of my faith and search for what I knew and separate that from what I'd been told. I'm now in a place where I can call on Christ for my truth, and not from my own prideful knowledge. It's been a rude awakening, but a completely refreshing one. These insights have been the result of much more than just the conversation and reading that has taken place. Thanks to my ministry at Love A Child, the team of 50some Christ's I walked alongside, and the amazing support system I have in my family back home I am finally realizing the truth of love. I journey through this love daily and find it impossible to describe through words, much less typed words. I pray that my actions will assist in this seemingly difficult task.

Unfortunately, none of you will be able to witness these actions first hand yet, but it is my hope that the people of Swaziland will see love, or rather Christ, in me and that will be relayed into eternity for all to experience.

"For I have a great sense of obligation to people in our culture and to people in other cultures, to the educated and uneducated alike." Romans 1:14

Paul's words perfectly express my heart coming into this semester. Our team of 18 arrived on Swazi soil January 7. Most of us had just a fragment of familiarity with the country, knowing only some of its history and present day circumstances. Even now, after half a month, I am still taking in the wealth of information that comes with understanding the culture. I encourage all of you to research the Kingdom of Swaziland (you read it right, it's still a monarchy) in your spare time to give you a glimpse of the desperation here. One thing that you won't find in textbooks and on websites is the spiritual condition of the people here. If we're just scratching the surface, the entire country is found to be saved. They all know the love of Christ and believe in his saving grace, but end up pouring it into their cultural tradition. Knowing the truth that no one can serve God and another, we have a goal of separating people from their idols to they may experience the Lord full force as he desires. Our team of disciples are working towards building close relationships so that we may disciple the "Christians" and speak to them about what saved really means and the life that it entails.

The Lord has been so gracious in providing opportunities for this goal to become a reality. There have been around 10 ministries presented in the area and we hope to discover more. Some of the main sites include the hospital, youth center, men's prison, disability/rehabilitation center, and several care points. We've been testing the waters at each of the ministries both as a team and individually so that we will be sure where the Lord wants us to be. I myself have found a special interest in volunteering at the Hope House, a care center for the terminally ill. It is a collection of houses where the patient and a care person, generally a family member, will stay until desired. There are 4 nurses overseeing the 20some patients, as well as the main nurse and "head honcho" of the show, Sister Elsa from India. The need for the Lord and his hope in the place is evident with the severity of the illnesses. After only visiting 3 days I am astounded with the ways God is already moving there and I'm very excited to be a part of the continued process. My role has mostly consisted of visiting with the patients themselves and sometimes with their families if they are blessed enough to have someone staying with them. The language barrier has made things move a little slower, but I have already formed fruitful relationships with several of the patients. If you are keeping me in your prayers please remember to mention boldness for me as most days are spent with the usual "knocking on the door inviting myself into people's lives" drill. Of course things will get easier as relationships are formed, but as most of you can understand it is quite awkward at the beginning. Also pray for Sister Elsa, the Indian Mother Theresa, and her strength day to day.

We are required to do at least 40 hours of ministry each week so I still have plenty of opportunities to explore. I'm drawn to the youth center ministry as well as the care points. I'll be sure to give a more extensive description of all my ministries as soon as the ball gets rolling, or as soon as the internet decides to allow me.

I'm pretty sure that marks the end of the time you took reading this lengthy update. Thanks for taking an interest in the bigger picture. I continually pray for you and the country of Canada.

- Your fellow Disciple.

Here is my new address if anyone wants to send me some love through means of the mail:

Julie Anderson

Care of Gail Antosh

PO Box 5526

Mbabane, Swaziland

AFRICA

Make sure AFRICA is bold or else it will be sent to Switzerland.

After His Heart

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Just four months ago I was leaving for the adventure of a lifetime; heading into to the unknown in hopes of living a life of Acts. Now I'm looking back on the first half of my journey and wondering where in the world my plans for this trip went. The truth is, I came to South Africa with this great idea to stop thinking about myself and think about the Lord. I had this grand image of me stepping into ultimate servant hood; a God hungry girl ready to do anything it took to see His kingdom come here on earth. Not a bad plan, but definitely not God's plan. After extensive learning, discipleship, and experience I came to realize that I wasn't being the servant to others that I has imagined, I was being a servant to myself. I was forced onto a path of self discovery. This was, at first, and extreme disappointment to me. I didn't come to South Africa to learn about my own heart, I came to see God's. It took me up to this point to realize that the two coincide with one another - God's heart and my own. In looking to Him I will find more of myself. It's impossible to serve God and not be filled in return. In writing this I'm reminded of something someone told me before the trip.

"You will gain more than you can imagine right now. As long as you remain open to what He has for you, you will grow immensely in your walk the Lord."

There you have it. I've been open to racing after His heart and been given the privilege of finding myself along the way. We are, after all, to adopt the hearts of Christ. So bye to me, hello to Jesus.

This portion of my adventure, filled with all it's digesting, has been the build up to an amazing outreach. I leave for the AIDS struck country of Swaziland with a team of 15 in just a few days. My image for the next four and a half months is similar to that which I had back in September, but this time I will be doing His Acts with a renewed spirit.

Thanks for keeping diligent in your support through prayers for us traveling missionaries. Know that they proven answered all the time in the many blessings I've received while being here. And also know that your work as missionaries back home is very encouraging to me. I look forward to being more of a part of it when I return.

In His name

Advent Conspiracy

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

This couldn't have come at a better time. I'm currrently being challenged with the concept of giving relationally. I love to give. It always brings me such joy to spend my money on others. However, a recent set of events has made me unable to do so. I can't even pay my trip off, much less afford to buy things for others. But as Into the Wild said, it's not all about these things. The world is trying to satisfy itself with things. Whatever happened to real gifts; relational gifts? Why not spend on others through acts of service? Why not give away some of the possessions you already own? Why not challenge yourself to reflect an act of generosity such as the one God showed some 2000 years ago? I guess the Lord has taken so much of my financial security away so that I may find security in Him, and allow more of his character to move in my life. Bring it on.

Luke 12:33 -34
Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Seeking Approval

Thu, 4 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"Why not get your glory from God? Why not accept your feelings of redemption

because of His pleasure in you, not the fickle and empty favor of man? And only

then will you know who you are, and only then will you have true uninhibited

relationships with others"

- Donald Miller Searching For God Knows What

I am so grateful that the Lord pushed me to read this book. It has spoken directly to my

goal for this trip: LET GOD LOVE ME SO THAT I CAN LOVE OTHERS

I am so tired of portraying someone that people will approve of. My eyes have been opened

to how much my love for and from God is affecting my love for others. Without receiving his

love, his approval, his redemption I will never be able to pour into others. It's not about being the best Christian or being the best dressed in the eyes of others. It's about recognizing that I'm the worst and it's only through Christ's identity that I can be approved.

Simplicity

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Proverbs 30:8b

Give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.

God continues to challenge me on this journey. I am learning more than ever that I must leave everything behind and follow him. This means acting on my convictions rather than just preaching about them.

Since day one God has been revealing to me my build up of earthly treasures. I have an abundance of stuff! You would think that South Africa would change my heart completely in this area, but it has been so easy to continue my habits in J Baai. I've taken advantage of the crazy cheap clothes here - more to add to the already complete wardrobe I have. And the Lord has graciously provided three meals a day for me, but somehow I feel the need to go out for a quick bite each day. I think everyone on the team has been convincing themselves that this spending is justified, but it definitely isn't. I have been talking to my team about it for the longest time, but it has been the biggest struggle to put my thoughts into practice.

In our small groups we have been reading "A Celebration of Discipline". Let me tell you, this book has the power to turn your world upsidedown. It looks at the core of scripture and reveals so many necessary elements of Christianity. The most recent chapter focused on Simplicity. There is so much I want to quote from it, but I would recommend reading the entire thing! The wheels have been turning ever since and now I've chosen to apply.

No unnecessary purchases. The execution process doesn't need to be shared in detail, but know that the spirit is at work in this area of my life more than ever before. I am thrilled for the outcome of this commitment.

I asked the Lord to give me just enough to satisfy, but he has blessed me with more than enough, and that's through Jesus.

A Taste

Thu, 9 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

How do I begin to describe what God has been doing in my life as of late? I suppose it would be better to illustrate a specific incident rather than being too general, so I'll have to leave out a large chunk of the Lord's work these past few weesk. Just know that God has done immeasurably more in Jeffreys Bay than what is about to be expressed. Although this story will bring enormous glory to His name, it does not do justice.

Let me start by stating the reason God had room to move so much. The weekend before last was dedicated to making disciples from the youth in South Africa. UCSA, the compound in which the team lives, ran a 4 day camp for students from schools across the country. We hosted over 300 bodies in a place that barely fits 100 of us! These students were singled out to come because they had qualities of a leader and potential to encourage changes for Christ in their schools.

The "leaders for these leaders" made a total of 50some and included MXP (Mission Expedition Students), LXP (Leadership Experience Students), and 18 amongst the AIM team. Each leader had a group of around 8 kids. (A side note that I don't have time to explain - my group was amazing!) It was an extreme blessing for everyone involved because we weren't just teaching the students, but we were journeying with them.

So diving into the intense part of my story...

On Monday, the last evening of the camp, I had one of the other leaders randomly pull me aside. She explained that a girl living in her cabin had been stressing about talking to me since the first day. Keep in the mind, I had never seen or spoken to this girl the entire weekend. So I made my way over to a hunched over body which had clearly been full of emotion during the past hour or so, all the while being utterly confused. Through many ums and ahs Anika explained to me that since the first moment she saw me something in her heart began to stir. She knew God was pushing her to approach me, but her fears prevented her from obeying Him. We immediately looked to the Lord in prayer in hopes that he would bring clarity to the situation. He answered fast! As soon as I finished my words with an "Amen", Anika was made aware of why God had drawn her to me. Apparently I had a strong resemblance to her best friend who had passed on a few years earlier. Long story short, it was time for her to lay this loss down at the foot of the cross. After some discussion we both concluded that she should go through the night as usual and seek God's guidance as to how he wanted her to let go. After the evening service we met and debriefed. The Holy Spirit worked intensely in both her heart and mine through over an hour of prayer and discussion. Not only did she give her friend completely up to the Lord, but many other things her life were revealed. I believe she found her true identity in Christ that night! And what a privilege to be a part of that!

First and foremost, all kudos to God. And God would not have been able to work as he did had the head leaders at UCSA not enforced countless hours of prayer among both leaders and students. I don't think I've ever prayed that much in 4 days! How awesome God is when you allow Him to intercede!

I must admit, when I first found out I was required to work the camp I had my share of negative thoughts, but did God ever prove me wrong. I would live the weekend over in a heartbeat - a heartbeat closely connected with Christ.

A note to the reader: Jeffreys Bay does not have an apostrophe (I'm not grammatically incorrect.)

But a Breath

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Psalm 39: 4-7
4 "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
      Remind me that my days are numbered-
      how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
      My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
      at best, each of us is but a breath."
6 We are merely moving shadows,
      and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
   We heap up wealth,
      not knowing who will spend it.
7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
      My only hope is in you.

Reading over this passgage reminds me of a totally lame movie quote, but a totally relevant one. I'm sure everyone is familar with Jack Dawson's little speech in Titanic, "To make each day count."

So how on earth do I go about making this journey and today count? It is easy to think that nine months is plenty of time to act, but in actuality it is just a wink. I do not want to move as just a shadow, nor do I want to rush into moments consumed by selfishness. This is fight to find the medium - a balance only God can bring. I need to focus my attention on doing the Lord's will and continually reminding myself not to neglect the moments he has blessed me with. How can I make this happen? I need to put my hope in the Lord. These days are his breaths, not mine.

Father,

Take all of the undisciplined areas in my life and fine tune them

so that I may play a sweet song for you. Even if if only lasts for

a second in your time, for if all disciples take part in this music

then you will hear the most beautiful composition

- one that is completely inspired by your goodness.

An Adventure Within the Adventure

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Here we are being thrown into J Baai via scavenger hunt. Of course the hunt requires a quick blog post. Count on those leaders to get us in the right habits! I'm looking forward to sharing more with "Ya'll" later : )

We Harvest What We Plant

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Galatians 6

1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.

4 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

6 Those who are taught the word of God should provide for their teachers, sharing all good things with them.

7 Don't be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9 So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone-especially to those in the family of faith.

*The first time I read this passage I felt it soaking into my life like a sponge in water. It coincides with everything I'm currently involved in. Radical awakenings need to happen in every aspect of my living right now.

First off, working in a "Christian zone" has been quite the experience. It has never been the chocolate covered job I expected and it most certainly hasn't provided the spiritual food I've been seeking. It's quite ironic how I finally understand what's holding me back from these things after almost 9 months of working there. But having just one week left is not going to hold me back from applying this scripture to this area of my life. The store is supposed to be a light for all who enter. We are able to aid in the spiritual journeys of the customers by providing them with the right resources or even just an ear to listen. This is a truly gratifying role, however, before we attempt to help carry the burdens of others to Christ, we ourselves have lay everything at the foot of the cross. I have been so selfish, believing that I could better overcome the stresses in my life than God could. My heart has never been fully in this job because of the weight on my shoulders. Now that it has been removed by Christ, it is time to help my brothers and sisters in the Lord do the same.

This leads to the "outer bubble" portion of my life. My second job is in a completely secular environment. I have always thought of it as such an amazing opportunity to reflect Jesus to the people who have never had a good taste of him. People have asked me questions since day one and I thrived to answer them. I felt as if I was giving my peers hope and watering my own garden of God at the same time. I don't doubt that some seeds have been planted in that place, but reading over this passage makes me realize that the seeds are not as deep as they could be. After Christians give their burdens to God it is so much easier to lead the unbelievers home. That is the second realization I came to. First we bring our faults to Christ ourselves, then we encourage the family of God to do the same, and lastly, we allow the love of Jesus to penetrate through our souls and into our daily lives in hopes that the blind will see.

It is no mystery how this all leads up to Africa and the trip I will be taking there in just over a month. I am going to serve. I am going with a hope that we reap the harvest of blessing.

It is so good to do good. All in Christs name.

I Believe

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Apart from a slight breeze, I find the wind to be at peace; causing goose bumps to appear every so often, and only as if to remind me of its existence. It's not enough to keep my swing in motion so I continually pump my legs back and forth allowing my eyes to gaze beyond the buildings and towards the hazy mountains of Quito. I notice the shadows of the trees looking their longest and I'm forced to accept my departure in just a few hours. These would be my last minutes spent in the country of Ecuador, a place I had come to feel a sense of love and devotion for. As I ponder all that was accomplished during our stay here, I feel that the team's greatest impact was on the hearts of the Ecuadorians. It wasn't the exhausting construction work or the overwhelming task of feeding seniors that showed God's love, but it was the attitudes with which we worked that reflected it. By viewing our work as a privilege and not a chore, perhaps the people of the Quito were able to understand a side to servant hood that they had never seen before. I know they would beg to differ, but I think that our team, or at least me personally, gained more from the Ecuadorians than they did from us. How incredible it is to witness an authentic joy from the church after planting just a small garden with less variety than a low carb diet. Being reminded of their appreciation is almost enough to keep the swing moving and give my legs a rest. This is the true beauty of creation; God's people. I mean, how boring would it be if we all spoke English and ate KFC every night for dinner. It's because of our cultural differences that we are able to learn and value one another, or more importantly, value God's masterpiece. I feel so blessed to have been exposed to the Spanish culture; even something as little as their schedule or lack there of, has affected my life greatly. This is what it's all about. When Jesus said, "Go and make disciples of all nations" (Matt 28:19) he meant do just that. Spread his love to your next door neighbor, to your coworker who dreads going home at the end of the day, to the child in Germany who has never been truly loved by his parents. We are to share the thrill of knowing the Lord to everyone and ensure that the body of Christ is fully equipped. When obeying the great commission we are not only training others to be disciples, but we ourselves are being educated in what it means to be a stronger disciple and soldier in Christ's army. As God reveals these revelations to me in this moment I make a promise to myself to forever change the way I look at outreach and savor every opportunity that he places in my path.

That's me reliving my last moments in Quito just under 4 months ago. This being the first time I've written the experience down and with each detail still in place I know that it's not something the Lord is going to let me easily forget. He is keeping me accountable to that promise I made and I am so grateful for that.

So what do I believe? I believe that we have the power to change the world as long as we let Jesus mould our hearts. I owe my thanks to the people of Ecuador for allowing this to be a bigger reality for me. I can only imagine what the people of Africa will teach me.

Do You Feel?

I'm thinking about other things I heard about today
All this week and tomorrow

And how these hands can create some better things a better ring
but you see for now I got my own things
I can't help it
I got too many issues I own
So I cannot help I'm afraid, yeah
But keep on preaching, preaching and heal the world
Lip service makes us look great
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or do you is it just not real
Cause you got your things
Yeah we all have our things I guess
I guess my mind wanders off
from time to time
Sometimes I convince myself
that all is fine in the world
It's not mine
Why should I
have to try
to fix things I didn't create or contrive
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or do you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all so many things
Have the habits
Had you
Has it been for long
Can you feel the souls behind what's going on
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or do you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all our own things
[x2]
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or do you is it just not real
Cause you got your things
Yeah we all so many things
And I can get past these things

-Bryce Avary

A Privilege

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Philippians 1:29 (New Living Translation)

29 For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him.

This verse has long been one of my favorites. I remember reciting again and again before my baptism last year. I have been given the opportunity to live for the King of Kings. He knows my name and in turn I shall make his name known. What a privilege we have to serve Christ. What a privilege it is to have Africa placed in my path. I have said since the first day I heard about AIM that whatever trip I did, I wanted it to be all for God. This year is dedicated to him. He has blessed me so much and I want nothing more than to share those blessings with others. Even though my heart is filled with a desire to give, I know that this trip is going to have me gain. And as much as I didn't want this to be the case I realize that it is impossible to do ministry without gaining. In fact, the more I give, the more I will gain. Working for the Lord is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. To have 9 months filled with hardcore evangelism and servanthood is the ultimate privilege. Gracias Dios!

Finding Strength

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT

John 14:26-28 (New International Version)

26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

This past week has been filled with an immense amount of stress. It seems I have so much to do and so little time to do it. It has caused many sleepless nights. On nights like these I prayed for God to take the weight off my shoulders and give me peace, but nothing seemed to happen. I was still overcome with what seemed like a million burdens. It came to the point where I felt like giving up. The devil was so close to taking me out of God's will, but the Lord proved to be victorious once again in my life. By speaking through my family and into my heart, God has brought me to a place of true peace. I have come to realize that although I was praying for God to release me of my burdens, I was keeping bits and pieces of them stashed away. I guess I felt as if some things would be better taken care of in my hands. Of course that plan soon demonstrated my need for God's intercession in everything I do. We are so privileged to have the spirit available to us. Christ dwells within me. I could say it a million times again and it would only become more meaningful. Christ dwells within me! I have him here to carry anything and everything that is weighing me down. Let the peace reign!